she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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