so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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