a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize