when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize