Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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