Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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