i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
I'm really busy with my period
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