Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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