I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
