My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i believe in u and ur pee
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
