Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
