we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
