a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
