i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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