Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize