i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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