It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
