haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
