Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
