sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
