i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dick very happy bro
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
