I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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