is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
