I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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