The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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