you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
