The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
BRING THE BAGELS
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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