"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
