I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
