put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
