please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
