normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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