your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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