Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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