what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
