Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
