how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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