just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Randomize