I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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