This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Two words: blizzard sex
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
