i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize