you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
