1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
