WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
