pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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