If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
