six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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