There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
