just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
