my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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