You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
