bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
