He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I don't deserve a penis
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
