rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
