Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
