New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
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