So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
