i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's shark week go big or go home
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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