just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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