Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
