I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
