your room smells of hookers.
And success
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
