I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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