What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize