The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
