I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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