Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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