Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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