he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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