if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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