you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
