well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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