very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
two words...techno handjob
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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