So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
