Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he puts the penis in happiness.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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