You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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