Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
